WE THE NORTH – Raps vs SHAQ-ramento Queens


The Raptors are on a two game skid, as they adjust to the loss of their All-Star, DeMAR DeROZAN. Tonight, they roll into SACRAMENTO to take on the KINGS. Sac-town is dealing with an injured All-Star of their own, DeMARCUS (De)COUSINS. I don’t know if he’s day-to-day, so he could end up playing tonight against Toronto. I hate to say it, but I have my fingers crossed that Cousins doesn’t play.

NO! No lane for you.

GRIEVIS VASQUEZ got the start last game for the absent DeRozan. He did rather well with his extended minutes. He shared the rotation with LOU WILLIAMS. Both added 20(ish) points to the tally. Let’s hope KYLE LOWRY and these small guards are able to annoy the Kings enough to take them off their game.

“Man, I had something in my eye. That’s why I missed. It was my contact lenses. I couldn’t see. It was my arm, it fell off. I—” We heard a few excuses during his stay in Toronto.

Sacramento has been surprisingly good this season, from what I’ve seen. Even when they lose, they’ve battled it out, and usually have a chance for the win. They rely on RUDY GAY’s high volume shooting and point production. When the offense is set up around Gay, he can really perform at his best. When he was in Toronto, the Raps just had a different mentality – team ball.


Darren COLLISON has also shone on his new team. In the past, he was stuck behind CHRIS PAUL in the CLIPPER’s rotation. This pesky little guard is definitely starter material. He’s more of a shoot-first type of point guard. That’s not a diss or anything. I’m a fan of small guards like Collison and ALLEN IVERSON who can get their shot off anytime they want, and slash ‘n drive into the tall trees of the paint.


If Cousins misses tonight’s game, let’s hope JONAS VALANCIUNAS dominates down low. He’s had several games now with double-digit rebounds. I’m thinking JV has a chance for a double-double tonight. It’s about time for him to have a statement game this season. I want to see him put up 30 and 15 or something.

EASTERN Conference COACH of the MONTH, the Raptors’ own, DWAYNE CASEY.

If Cousins plays tonight, itshould be a great battle between these two tall oak trees. JV learned from OLAJUWAN this off-season, and Cousins learned from new part-owner SHAQ. If you only consider these mentors tonight’s post battle will be finesse versus beasting.


The Raps will have to fire on all cylinders tonight if they hope to beat this Western team minus DeRozan and avoid a third loss in a row. Coach Casey probably has something up his sleeve, next to his COACH OF THE MONTH Award. Pound the Rock, baby.

Let’s hope VASQUEZ comes out GUNS blazing tonight… Oops, wrong Vasquez… ALIENS, anyone. Anyone? BUELLER? Bueller? Dur, wrong 80s movie.



Cousins, DNP, thank-ful-ly.

It was a lot closer than it needed to be tonight. Cousins was out, but the Kings got some help from the unexpected Derrick Williams and the 2nd year swingman Ben McLemore. He had a crazy dunk over Amir – just posterized him. Erm, I mean Instagrammed (?) him.

Kid has major ups

Rudy Gay did his thing, but added 9 assists. That wasn’t a part of “his thing” when he played in Toronto. Maybe he was making some sort of statement…

T-Ross can sky too… when he’s in the game. Too bad he had foul trouble tonight.

… like Ross was. Terrence went off large in the 1st half. He hit a few threes too. This is the Ross I like to see. Playing like he’s DeMar or something.

James Johnson stepped up tonight and added his fair share of points. When you think of it, the Raps scored over 100 without Lou contributing. That’s w

hat you call a deep bench.

“No. It’s my boat… I’m the Captain now.”

KYLE LOWRY was the main man tonight, 26 points and 13 assists. I’d like to see more games like this from the Pitbull. With DeRozan down, this is Lowry’s team. He led the way tonight, stopping the losing streak before it got out of hand.

Another solid game with contributions from the bench.


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